Beyond Resolutions

I know with the New Year everyone resolves to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise, blah blah blah.... The truth is, most of the New Year's resolutions fail. Gym memberships go unused and people quickly lose motivation. I realized long ago that my New Year's resolutions were a crap shoot. The one I have thankfully kept is from 2009 where I quit smoking. I remember it being close to midnight New Year's Eve and about two months in to my six month battle with pneumonia. I choked as I smoked my last cigarette and began my long recovery and new life as an ex-smoker.

Over the years I've learned it takes more than a calendar day to set a goal and stick to it. You have to have something special. That fire that burns no matter how hard things get. Something has to drive you from within, a determination that failure is not an option. For me, I surprised myself. When it came to finding the right drive to change everything I'd been doing, it was the fear of leaving my kids without a mother. That fear of succumbing to pneumonia helped me quit smoking and in November 2011 the doctor telling  me I needed to start heart medication prompted me to change everything I knew about taking care of myself. After a year of sticking to calorie counting and adding running to my regular workout, I'm ready to make a new resolution and stick to it.

For 2013, I have resolved to be STRONGER. I don't just mean buff and hulking out, but to be able to stand on my own resolute of who I am and sure of myself that I will not be defeated. I'm taking a stand against tempting days when a burger and fries sound REALLY REALLY REALLY good. I'm not going to give in to that inner voice that says I can take it easy today because I've earned it. I have a long road behind me of progress and a long road still ahead and it's going to take strength of body, strength of mind and strength of spirit to get me there.

It's funny what motivates you. Outside of the fear, there's certain quotes, images, and words that fuel that inner fire. STRONG is one for me. It speaks to me in so many ways. My mom would be the first to tell you've I've always been strong-willed, aka bull-headed. I was born STRONG. I was not one to give up easily when I didn't get my way and somewhere along the line I lost my confidence and a part of who I was. I gave up that strength and gave in to outside pressures. I lost myself and that inner fire dimmed. It took a lot to find that fire again and each day, each new attempt, each workout, each event, each running bib and medal fuels that fire. I hate to liken myself to a phoenix because it has become so cliche, but I feel like what has clawed its way out of the barely glowing embers is something brighter and so much STRONGER than before. This last year has shown me just how STRONG I am inside and for 2013 I plan on pushing what I've got on the outside to grow closer in strength to what's inside.